How do you feel around people who claim to be perfectionists?
There was a time I found those people impressive — and I felt small and insufficient because I believed I was full of imperfections. I’d try, fail, learn, and try again, searching for a better way to do things. I never seemed to land on the “best” solution. I wanted to be a perfectionist myself, so one day, I decided to become one.
I asked myself: what would it actually take? The answer seemed simple — know the best solution, and do it in the best way. But how do you actually know what’s “the best”? For any task, I decided I’d think it through, talk to people, search online, do whatever it took to find the ideal way of doing it. A few months in, I noticed I hadn’t moved forward — I was in a worse state of mind, still unable to pin down what “best” even meant. How did those people do it?
One day, a colleague I admired — someone considered a true perfectionist — shared how she’d come up with a breakthrough solution for her project after two months of hard work, earning praise from everyone. As she told her story, my instant reaction was a different solution: simpler, quicker, more user-friendly. She was amazed, and asked me not to share it with anyone, or she’d lose her spotlight as the star of the project. That was my turning point.
I kept thinking about it. I’d admired her for being a perfectionist, yet she’d spent two months arriving at something nowhere near what I could offer instantly. So was what she thought was perfect not actually perfect? Could someone else always have a better answer?
Reflecting on my own months of trying to become a perfectionist, I realized I’d only grown more stressed, less productive, more dissatisfied, a little frustrated, and hesitant to offer anything — because deep down, I was worried a better answer existed that I hadn’t found yet. And in that search for the best answer, I never actually tried anything, so I never learned what could have worked. I stayed exactly where I started.
I realized I was happier while trying new things, learning what worked and what didn’t, and why. I did fail at a few things — but I learned, and that learning made me better at a lot of things. Chasing perfectionism had been destructive, and it saddened me to think how hard I’d been on myself in pursuit of something that never existed. Do you relate to this?
Have you ever tried to define perfection? I tried — and realized perfection is a myth. There will always be a “better” version somewhere. Chasing something the world might call perfect will never happen; the context keeps shifting, and so does the definition. Isn’t that a chase of a mirage? Looked at this way, you start to see the damage it can do to whoever’s running after it.
I’m grateful that phase came into my life, because within a couple of months, it taught me lessons for a lifetime.
I now feel good and happy being imperfect — because that’s what keeps me moving forward, learning new things, and stretching my limits. I’m far more accepting now of myself, of making mistakes, of failing, as long as I’m learning from it.
I’ve learned that my success lies in being progressive rather than perfectionist — getting better than who I was yesterday, doing things better than I did yesterday, and taking one step forward every day.
And here’s my new, proud definition of who I am: Happily Imperfect.
