We’ve been raised to believe there’s always a right answer — one right way we must find and follow. And chasing that single answer keeps us wandering recklessly, costing us the chance to actually live our lives. The outcome? We still never find it. Whatever we do is never enough — it doesn’t make everyone happy, and it never fully satisfies us either, because we’re operating from a need for validation: what’s approved by others, what looks right to everyone.
Listen to how we talk to ourselves and to others: What should I do to…? You should… One should… They should… He should, she should…
Does that sound familiar? Notice anything in common across all of it?
The word “should.” It limits your thinking and takes away your options — because it implies there’s one right thing, and that right thing is the only thing that should be done. But who decides what should be done? How can one belief we use to drive our own thinking, or to preach to others, be right for everyone, in every situation, in every context? It can’t.
What’s right for me may not be right for you. What looks good to me may not look good to you. What’s doable for me may not be doable for anyone else. So where does “should” even come from?
How many of us can honestly say we’ve been happy following “shoulds” — the rulebook, the one-size-fits-all approach? I’d bet: no one.
If you ask me, the word “should” should be removed from the dictionary of life. That’s the only “should” I’m happy with.
But then what do we replace it with — something that actually brings us answers, happiness, satisfaction? The space can’t stay empty, right?
Try this: Ask yourself, “What should I do with my life?” Now change the question to, “What do I want to do with my life?”
Notice what these two questions do to your mind. How differently do they make you feel?
The moment you ask what you want, it opens up options — it gives you the freedom to identify what actually works for you, what brings happiness, and to make a real choice. Being told what you should do closes the door on thinking, on choosing, on doing what makes you happy.
So, experience your life by replacing “should” with “want to,” and watch how it brings clarity to your thoughts and gets you sorted in how you live.
Now you might ask — how do I know if what I want is right or wrong? No one can tell you that except you. My simple formula: what makes me feel good is right for me, because anything else won’t make me happy. Your heart already knows what’s right for you. There’s no right or wrong answer.
Life isn’t complicated. It’s simple — it’s what we make of it with our thoughts. So keep it simple. Take ownership of your life and your own happiness, and ask yourself: what do I want?
Wishing you more courage and happiness!
