One of my coachees came to see me recently, looking horrified and stressed. She’d been going through a rough patch — long hours, high targets, no recognition, health issues from the stress, and political battles just to get through each day. All of it had spilled over into her time with family, straining things at home too. She’d given more than a decade to this organization, poured her energy into its success, and had spent the last 8-9 months under the constant fear of losing her job as leadership changes rippled through every level.
She told me she, along with a few of her peers, had just been informed of a mutual separation agreement. She was so consumed by worry that all she could see was fear and confusion about what to do next — a chaotic mess in her head that clearly needed sorting through.
I asked her: What does the agreement actually say? What’s the offer?
She said: three months’ notice period, plus a month’s pay for every completed year.
Me: So that’s more than a year’s pay?
Her: Yes. But what do I do now?
Me: What options do you actually have?
Her: I don’t know.
Me: If you were given the option to stay, would you even want to?
Her: There’s clearly no such option. I’ve struggled for nine months, and I know it’s been humiliating, every single day.
Me: So isn’t it a relief that it’s finally over? Were you expecting something different?
Her: No, I knew this was coming. But now that it’s a mutual separation, what do I actually do?
Me: What options do you have, other than to accept it and move forward?
She sat there, clearly in a victim state, without a word.
Me: Okay, let’s try something else — what’s actually good about this situation?
Her: Good about this? Really? What more can happen to me?
Me: Let’s try it, just once. Think about it.
Her: The day-to-day struggle I was going through — that’s finally over. It feels like the result came in, and I failed.
Me: Did you want that struggle to continue?
Her: No. Honestly, I’m relieved it’s over — I couldn’t keep going, and it was taking a toll on my health and my personal life.
Me: What else looks good from here?
Her: I have three months left, fully paid, plus 11 months’ pay for my 11 years there.
Me: So that’s 14 months of pay — financial security for over a year. And you have three working months where you can actively look for your next opportunity, while still being paid here. Is that right?
Her: Yes, that’s right. But what do I do?
Me: Why do I get the sense you’re looking for complications where there are none? You’ve said yourself there’s no real option but to accept the agreement. You didn’t want to stay, you’ve been struggling for nine months at the cost of your health, your relationships, your peace of mind — and now that the organization has handed you a deal you can genuinely benefit from, you’re stuck wondering what to do? You’re resisting accepting a situation you already knew was coming, just because it came with a better outcome than you feared.
Isn’t this actually the best version of what could have happened here? Can you imagine what could have gone worse?
Her: Yes — I could have lost my job over some unfair performance issue, gotten nothing beyond my notice period, been sitting at home job-hunting with no real explanation for why I left without another offer in hand. All of that could have been so much harder on me and my family. It’s honestly a little scary to think about what could have happened.
Me: Don’t you see what a blessing it is that none of that happened? You get three months to focus on finding your next role, spend real time with family, and take care of your health and relationships — all while still being paid. And even if the search takes a little longer, your finances are covered.
Her: Yes, I feel a lot better.
Me: You should. Be grateful there’s really nothing left to overthink here — just float, and flow in a direction that’s clearly working in your favor.
Her: You’re right. There’s genuinely nothing left to put my energy into figuring out. It actually feels good to not have too many options right now.
Me: Good luck!
We’re so used to complicating things in our minds that we forget having no other option can, at times, actually be a comfort.
We keep chasing more options, only to feel more complicated and less capable of deciding anything.
We’re so used to noticing misfortune and stress around us that we forget to look for the good in the situations we’re actually in.
Believe that when you’ve given your best effort, whatever happens next carries some good within it. You just need to find it, and hold on to it, to move forward. Nothing is pure misfortune — look for the good in a situation, and you’ll find it.
